I IMAGINED when I left full-time employment over a year ago that during the first 12 months travelling with my family – wife and four-year-old son - I’d have plenty of time on my hands.
Perhaps it was foolish to figure I’d have to myself a significant share of the hours I had spent at work and commuting.
It hasn’t worked out that way. In fact, I have less time for self-indulgence now than before. Life has been more challenging, too, but I expected that.
Working in London, I was coasting through each day, almost on auto-pilot, although there were aspects of the job (editor of Boxing News) and lifestyle that were demanding and stressful.
In terms of stress, I would say I feel about the same, but the type of stress is different. Anyone who thinks I’m living the perfect life, joyfully passing each day in a state of bliss, basking in sunshine, will probably find this blog somewhat surprising.
It would be easy for me to paint a rosy picture. My decision to trade in a relatively comfortable lifestyle for a global family exploration was regarded by some as brave and fantastic while others reacted as if I were stupid and/or insane.
I could easily permit my pride to prevent me admitting to any hardships or failings. But that would make the value of this article worthless. The truth is that it has felt like a much tougher 12 months than I had the previous year when working in London every day.
With most jobs I’ve had, the task has become easier through repetition and familiarity, but parenting and living on the road (which is now my job effectively) continually presents fresh trials and confrontations.
While there have been many times when I have felt utterly exasperated, I don’t regret for one second my decision to leave a secure occupation and sell our family home. I wouldn’t exchange the experiences I’ve had this year just for a regular wage and safe abode. My year, in fact, has whizzed by.
Although we’ve been back to London twice this year between trips, on our longer stints abroad I haven’t once yearned to be back in Britain or at my old job. We miss family and friends, of course, but during our travels have enjoyed some precious moments with family we haven’t easily been able to see when we were living in England. We’ve also made some great friends.
In today’s age, what with the internet, Skype and Facebook etc, staying in contact is made so much easier and more intimate. Talking to someone on Skype can almost seem like seeing them in person. It takes away the longing.
However, while it can at times be unsettling not knowing where ‘home’ is, it can also be exciting. We tend to think of ‘home’ as where we are as a family unit. A house is a house – a building – and not necessarily a home.
A greater concern for us has been finding ways of satisfying Zenchai’s developmental needs as he grows older, most specifically the desire to interact with other children.
In the earlier part of the year, when we were in Morocco and Ecuador, it wasn’t an issue. But recently Jamie and I have both felt a sense of yearning on Zenchai’s part to be around other children and no amount of time spent with us (in an adult world) can satisfy that.
It has been painful at times watching him play alone, knowing he desperately wants (child) company. It’s been equally heart-breaking seeing him unsuccessfully try to make inroads into a group of children who speak a foreign language to him. To some extent his confidence has taken a knock.
Initially, particularly when we were in Ecuador, he resisted trying to learn new languages. But he has now recognised how it can create opportunity. I found also that by speaking to him in Spanish or Croatian (or whatever language we need to be using), he has started to pick up words and phrases, too, while at the same time enabling me to improve my word skills as well.
The secret, as with almost anything – for children as well as adults, is to make it fun. Sometimes when we play games I use (my limited) Spanish only and invariably I have to find words and phrases that relate to cars and pirates (his latest fascination).
But just as Zenchai has started to make some inroads into Spanish while in Argentina, he is about to face even greater challenges. More on that in Part Two.
The first post-job bubble of illusion to pop was that "retired" meant anything but "getting tired again." Of course, when I was working, for the most part I was as busy as I had to be; now, I'm primarily as busy as I want to be, and that's a happy difference.
But then, I have no kids, or even pets (I'm supposing that pet trees don't count). I imagine that among the many conflicts of parenthood is between the joy of watching a child grow, and the pleasure of imagining how much free time one will have when she or he has grown and left home. But Fate, a lover of frustrations, has a device that resolves that dilemma: grandchildren!
¡Buena suerte!
Posted by: Bill M | 06 January 2011 at 02:54 AM