Abrams Family World Travel

World Travel: Our Favourites - Three Years On

AT the end of our first year of travel, we posted a blog about our favourite spots - places, restaurants, beaches, parks and hotels, locations we’ve travelled to (including before our journey began) and have no trouble recommending. Now that over three years have passed since we started our adventure, we thought it would be a good time for an update.

Places

1. Vancouver, Canada: This city on North America's west coast offers a bit of everything. It ticked a lot of boxes for us. Nearby there's snow and beach for starters. There's an excellent public transport system, a fantastic range of organic/healthy produce, lots to do and see socially, the people are friendly, there's a large alternative schooling community, it's relatively safe and, for Canada, the weather is on the mild side. The only downside was the cost of property and renting. Otherwise, we really loved it - a lot!

2. Napier, New Zealand: Known as the 'Art Deco Capital of the World', this town on the north island is incredibly pretty. There's ocean, stunning surrounding mountains, hiking trails, wonderful rivers, clean parks, loads to do and see, little, if any, traffic, clean air and not lacking anything that we'd want in a big city.

3. Kukljica, Croatia: This little village on the island of Ugljan, across the water by ferry from Zadar, is a magical place for us. It's where I spent much of my childhood during the hot summer months. The Adriatic Sea is gorgeously salty and blue. The village has charm and lots of beautiful, though mostly rocky, bathing spots. It's wonderful during the hot season, but can be harshly cold in the winter.

4. Edinburgh, Scotland: Nice for walking, plenty to see, close to the coast, variety of restaurants, compact.

5. Lisbon, Portugal: Amazing architecture, lovely climate, great squares, economical and efficient public transport.

 

Beaches

1. Playa Hermosa, Costa Rica: Long stretches of sand without a person in sight or litter, stunning sunsets and perfect sea temperatures

2. Whale’s Tail, Costa Rica: Set in a National Park, with impressive caves you can walk through, great sand and warm seas

3. Los Frailes, Ecuador: Clear water, secluded, perfect waves, clean sand, sea temperature consistently good. All it’s missing is some shelter from the scorching sun and somewhere for refreshments (make sure you bring your own!)

4. Englishman’s Bay, Tobago: Long, intimate stretch of beautiful sandy beach with palm trees and clear green water, just where you’d imagine Robinson Crusoe making his base. There’s a shop and café on site also (not built by Crusoe, by the way).

5. Piracanga, Bahia, Brazil: We stayed here for more than 10 months in 2011. We lived practically on the doorstep of miles of vacant sandy beach. The ocean here, while often quite strong, was nearly always the perfect temperature and the sand ideal although we did have to lookout for troublesome little flees. www.piracanga.com

 

Restaurants

1. Napfenyes Etterem, Budapest: So good we ate there every day on our short stay, sometimes twice in a day. Great menu, nice staff. Almost too many delightful dishes, making our choice so much tougher (hence the reason we kept coming back) Rózsa u 39, District VII, Budapest 1077 +36-1-3135555. http://www.napfenyesetterem.hu/

2. Pure Food & Wine, Manhattan, New York: Somewhat pricey, but worth it, if only for the scrumptious desserts. Formal vegan restaurant with raw options. Jamie can't wait to get back there. www.oneluckyduck.com 54 Irving Place New York, NY 10003-2314 Tel: (212) 477-1010

3. Terra, Lisbon, Portugal: Fabulous buffet spread when we visited over seven years ago. Food is fresh and the ginger juice, though laced with sugar, so refreshing. www.restauranteterra.pt Príncipe Real, Rua da Palmeira 15, 1200-311 LISBOA, Portugal Tel: 213 421 407

4. Tiestos, Cuenca, Ecuador: Delicious food delivered in a large tagine (tiesto). The chef can make almost whatever you like and uses his ingredients so perfectly. A hit every time. Juan Jaramillo 7-34, City Centre, Cuenca, Ecuador

5. Buenos Aires Verde, Buenos Aires, Argentina: Outstanding organic vegetarian nosh, always beautifully presented, fresh and nutritious. Plenty of vegan and raw vegan options. Lovely setting, relaxed atmosphere and genuine staff. There is a menu in English. Try the salads, pizza, deserts and smoothies. Reasonably priced as well, especially when compared to most organic raw food/vegetarian restaurants. Gorriti 5657, Buenos Aires. http://www.bsasverde.com/index_en.html. Open Monday-Saturday 9am-0.30am.

 

Parks

1. KL City Park, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: Bang on the doorstep of the Petronas Towers and an enormous shopping centre is a large fountain which backs on to a great park. Whether it's jogging, walking, kids play or splashing in water, this park has it all. It's where I infamously smashed up my shins doing box jumps on marble columns (I slipped!) We spent countless hours there with our kids in the second-to-none children's play area. 

2. El Retiro, Madrid, Spain: Outstanding and in the city centre (near Retiro subway). Has many jogging paths and exercise areas as well as a lake with boats, cycle routes and quieter, shaded areas to sit.

3. Munich Olympic Park, Germany: By the former Olympic stadium, these manicured grounds near the centre of the city were used for the 1972 Games. The park has a lake and river and is perfect for running, cycling, rollerblading or just strolling.

4. Central Park, New York: At the tip of Manhattan, the park has something for everyone in any season, Great for walking, running, playing sports, rollerblading or just to pass some time.

5. Bosques de Palermo, Buenos Aires, Argentina: We stayed just a few blocks from this park. I went running there a lot (it can get busy) and Zenchai and I hired bicycles. We also went there for days out in the sun, just to play about on the grass. It's a huge park with beautiful gardens and monuments as well as a lake in the middle where you can rent paddleboats to calmly take in the scenery and relax. 

 

Sites/Experiences

1. Iguazu Falls, Argentina: Truly breathtaking, immense natural wonder on the Brazilian and Argentine border. Well worth the ridiculously long bus journey from Buenos Aires and wait for the lashing rain to subside.

2. Milford Sounds, New Zealand: Spectacular scenery on the South Island, visions I can't imagine you'd find anywhere else all in one place - mountains, lakes, hills...every corner turned delivered something special.

3. Blue Mountains, Sydney, Australia: Down Under's answer to the Grand Canyon. Impressive views, walks and cable rides.

4. El Zapato/Cajon Dam, Capilla Del Monte, Argentina: This site took us by surprise. We were on a walk, looking for the dam and stumbled upon an immense mountainscape that looked like something from 'The Land Of The Giants'.

5. Superclassico Football - River Plate v Boca Juniors: A truly memorable occasion for any footy fan - the biggest rivalry in the Argentine league. Whether it's at the River Plate Stadium, where the 1978 World Cup final took place, or Boca's smaller, but more cauldron-like ground, this is an unmissable fixture, more so for the bristling atmosphere than the football. 

 

Hotels/Hostals

1. Villa de las Aves, Uvita, Costa Rica: Fabulous two-floor house-type buildings with private jacuzzi, kitchens and a communal pool set in grounds surrounded by trees, animals and birds. With delightful owners, too - from Australia and UK, this is a spectacular place within reach of Costa Rica's great beaches. http://www.villasdelasaves.com/

2. Bahia Principe Tulum, Playa del Carmen, Mexico: All-inclusive resort hotel close to crystal clear sea water and private white sandy beaches.

3. Mandala, Puerto Lopez, Ecuador: Immaculately decorated – has so much to offer, like a library, games room, restaurant, gardens and music room. http://www.hosteriamandala.info/

4. Hip Hotel, Maastricht, Holland: Super sleek, funky one-time apartments converted into themed hotel rooms at affordable prices. There’s secure parking also, but at a fee. http://www.st-martenslane.com/

5. Intercontinental, Chicago airport: Comfortable, tasteful and sheek. 5300 North River Road, Rosemont. Tel: (847) 544-5300

 

Children's Activities

1. Parkour, Vancouver: Of all the activities we have introduced Zenchai to, this was the best. He couldn't get enough. What kid wouldn't want to run, tumble, climb, crash, jump and generally have heaps of fun exploring movement? http://www.originsparkour.com/

2. Wall Climbing, Kuala Lumpur: We took Zenchai along to the largest indoor climbing facility in Asia - and it is huge. It's all supervised and, while a little daunting, children get the chance to scale some enormous walls and grow in confidence. 

3. River Play, Piracanga, Brazil: During our stint at an eco village, we lived close to a river, which was perfect for children. Zenchai learned both to kayak and swim here in addition to spending countless hours just playing.

4. Children's Museum, Buenos Aires: Although the cost of entry wasn't low, it was worth it. Children got to role play and dress up to their heart's content. Zenchai used to beg me to take him here. 

5. Waterfall, Chiang Mai, Thailand: This northern Thai city is surrounded by waterfalls of various sizes. We found one on a Sunday afternoon and the kids loved it so much we couldn't tear them away. 

World Travel: A Question Of Education

I GET asked a lot about education when people discover we have been travelling with children as long as we have.

Then they enquire how old our offspring are. "Six and one," I say. And suddenly the alarm drops from their voices.

Of course, in many countries children don't begin school until seven. But school often hasn't really been a realistic option for us while travelling and, let's face it, it's not the ONLY way one can learn or become educated. Even Albert Einstein said, "education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he or she has learned in school."

We tried school for a while when in Piracanga, Brazil, but Zenchai really didn't like it, although he seems to have forgotten how much.

Occasionally, he talks about it fondly and, when I probe deeper, it turns out that what he really liked was the freedom (it was a Free School) and playing daily with the one or two kids he had formed relationships with.

But every day was a struggle for me to take him to school. He fought it - and hard. Eventually, we listened to him. Suffice to say he had some unpleasant experiences there, though I should add there were some good ones, too.

However, though he is now six and hasn't really had any schooling, Zenchai is bright - very bright, the smart Alec variety.

The point is that whether he is formally instructed or not, he is learning, because, in the right environment, that's what children do. And Zenchai is doing it at his pace, mostly through play, and choosing what it is he is interested in rather than following a curriculum that someone else has deemed either necessary or appropriate.

Rightly or wrongly, that's the path we are taking for now. Not everyone will believe in or support our choices - and we may, of course, change our minds/attitudes - but currently I am happy with how Zenchai is developing and progressing.

Of course, he is hugely challenging, incredibly chatty and fiercely demanding at times also. But I could replace challenging with strong-willed and chatty with expressive and demanding with having the spirit to make his desires a reality. He has a strong personality, but is also highly sensitive. He is very much a free soul.

So when I am asked about reading, writing and counting etc, I don't feel any more concerned with Zenchai's progress than I was when he was learning to walk and talk, which all occurred completely naturally. The same happened with running, cycling, swimming, bodyboarding and kayaking. All we did was provide the suitable environment and tools, which gave Zenchai, when he was ready, the motivation. Through practice and enthusiasm, he got better. And I believe the same will occur with reading, writing, drawing, counting and pretty much everything else.

I notice how he studies the pages of his books even now and looks at the words, trying to work out the sounds. He does it all by himself, privately, and that's fine by us. And if he needs help, he usually asks and we assist.

Zenchai is a good observer. He can, like many young children, handle a computer effortlessly and knows how it operates. He knows all about cars, because it's his passion and he absorbs every word that he hears or reads about them. 

I know from my own experience that what I learned best was what I was most interested in and that still remains the case. What was forced upon me I quickly tried to avoid or give up or ended up forgetting.

I became a journalist through desire, passion and enthusiasm. What I learned for my specialised subject, boxing, was done off my own back and not in school. The key, I believe, is fostering that passion.

So we are trying to encourage Zenchai to learn through his interests, which are mainly cars and vehicles, but he is also into pirates, dinosaurs, building, music, magic, singing, books/stories, sometimes sports and many other things. By watching Zenchai play with cars, for instance, I have observed him learn to read (badges, number plates, signs, logos), draw (he loves details), build (he converts almost anything, including himself, into a car), count and write, all fuelled by his own fascination and with no urging or deliberate guidance from us, his parents.

There is no reason why this cannot continue as he gets older, so long as Jamie and I are prepared to support him where needed (and, for the record, neither of us is particularly interested in cars). 

The questions that are always asked are about sociability and education when they get older. But being 'homeschooled' doesn't mean Zenchai won't have contact with other children or can't, if he chooses, go on to university one day. And, as said earlier, one day we or he may decide to opt for something more structured and institutionalised. 

We seek out playgroups and other families with children wherever we go and, more importantly, Zenchai is in a world where he learns to interact with people of all age groups rather than predominantly his own and spends most of his days in real life situations rather than classrooms. 

It amounts to a different type of education. Our model is really more life-learning. But it's a tough undertaking for any parent. Believe me, I have many days when Zenchai is too much for me/us to handle and I think it would be so much easier and convenient to pack him off to school, which would give me all the time I wanted to myself. But the reality is that in those moments we are not quite getting something right and he is reminding us of it. 

But neither Jamie nor I, at this moment, really feel a school system is for Zenchai or, more accurately, we haven't found a school model here that we think is suitable for him. So we have chosen an alternative road. 

As I am reminded frequently by the homeschooling/life learning/unschooling community, homeschooling is not the experiment. It's how for generations children were raised. School, actually, is the experiment.

However, learning from 'home' means we are with our children practically all the time, which is testing (really testing) for our family dynamic. We also have to place a lot of trust in Zenchai, because he guides us to what he enjoys and wants to learn about.

Thankfully, we've never been too fussed about comparing Zenchai to other children his age. We try to think of him as an individual and unique (which is what all children are) and there is too much stress created by continually being informed your child may be lagging behind or lacking in some way, physically or mentally. I certainly never liked being compared when I was younger. Zenchai excels at being himself and my job is to accept him as he is (which, I admit during challenging moments, isn't always easy).  

I cannot say how different I would be had I been raised as Zenchai is being. It's an impossible question, of course. It would suit some children more than others. 

All I know is that whenever I ask Zenchai if he would like to go to school, his answer is an emphatic 'NO'. To go against that would be disrespecting his choice (as I did for several months in Brazil), just as it would if I kept him out of school should one day he decide again to try. 

Some people believe children shouldn't have that choice - that it is too great a decision for them. But I'm not one of them. I believe, even if I don't always succeed in practising what I preach, that to raise respectful people we should treat them respectfully. 

 

World Travel: 200 Not Out

SO after nearly two-and-a-half years travelling as a family - about 850 days - we have reached our 200th blog.

We've been to many countries and places and often people want to know which ones stand out the most.

I frequently ask Jamie which locations she either misses most or would like to re-visit. Her list is much shorter than mine. 

While we haven't yet found the 'perfect' location and don't even believe such a place exists, here are my top 5 hot spots, in no particular order. 

 

KUKLJICA

A picture-perfect village on the island of Ugljan off the coast of Zadar in Croatia. It holds special memories for us. We lived there for two months in the summer of 2010. We could never get enough of the deep blue Adriatic Sea and local, fresh food. We found the locals so friendly and welcoming. The weather was perfect, too. Jamie doesn't even like me mentioning the place, because she yearns to be there. We shall return one day with Kobra, part of whose named was derived from the village and country.

 

BAHIA

WE lived in Piracanga, an eco village south of Itacare, Brazil, for nine months in 2011. Kobra was born there. That makes the place unique in our memories. Our life there was basic. There were no shops. We made our entertainment by visiting the ocean and river and using what was natural around us. We played on the long, deserted sandy beaches. Sharing a home with us were spiders, bats, a rat and, occasionally to steal our fruit, monkeys. Jamie found our existence there too limiting after a long period. But I miss many aspects of the lifestyle, especially just living in a pair of shorts (nothing else required). Zenchai still talks fondly of the place, too, because he made friends there.

 

BRECON

OUR Christmas of 2011 was spent in the Welsh valleys. We did a stint of house-sitting and looking after cats and ducks in a beautiful cottage. It was mostly cold and wet, but the house was so cosy and the scenery spectacular. We liked the people very much. Both Jamie and I felt a strong affinity for the region. 

 

BUENOS AIRES

THE bustling capital of Argentina is a place I'd like to go back to more than to stay or settle. It has so much going for it - loads of places to visit; lots to do; cheap and efficient transport; lots of restaurants; nice people. I got to know it well during the near-three months we lived there in late-2010/early-2011.

It ranked as one of Zenchai's favourite spots, too, because he loved seeing all the classic old cars scattered on the streets. 

 

VARKALA BEACH

ALTHOUGH we were only in India a few months ago (Jan 2012), I look back affectionately on our time there. The weather was perfect and the people so glowing, inquisitive and almost overwhelmingly friendly and helpful. Being by the beach offered our kids a great playground every day. We felt very safe there. Although it was more touristy than we like and India in general is overpopulated, noisy and polluted, Varkala Beach has a great charm about it. Living and being there is so easy. 

 

Chiang Mai: Back With A Difference

WE are back in Chiang Mai. It feels different. It's still hot, but the sweat doesn't roll off me here continually as it did in Kuala Lumpur.

We have found a place to call home for the next month or perhaps longer. We are still assessing. But it feels more peaceful in our new abode, set away from the often noisy streets.

We don't hear any traffic - only the sounds of insects and creatures in the forest or nearby dogs barking. It's nice to be surrounded by nature. But this comes at a cost. I'm frequently removing spiders and scorpions and various other bugs/insects. But that's life. We got used to that in Brazil, where the critters were tarantulas, bats, rats and monkeys.

Slowly, we are settling in to Thai life again, minus all the pollution that convinced us to leave several months ago. We have a car at our disposal, which allows us much more freedom to explore. Getting around in rickshaws and taxis is fun to begin with, but, in the heat, soon loses its appeal, especially when you have young children.

Chiang Mai isn't so large that getting lost presents a problem. If you have a sense of direction, you can easily get back on track. Kuala Lumpur would have been a nightmare to drive in. I'm finding my way around Chiang Mai quite quickly and easily, though you always have to have your wits about you with so many scooters around.

With our own wheels, we can check out the rich variety of organic produce they have in Chiang Mai. There is a big initiative here to provide pesticide-free goods and our diet has improved substantially. Each day (for about £1 per kilo) I buy Jamie a durian (she's addicted).

We eat in much more. Our garden has jackfruit, mango and banana trees and an organic garden. We have purified water from the tap. The children have space to stretch their legs and play and raise their voices heartily.

Jamie has slowly started her yoga again and I'm happy back at Crossfit Chiang Mai. Each week we try to have a Thai massage (it's painful, but great - and only £11 for two hours!)

We're working on finding outlets for Zenchai and have made contact with several groups in town who are educating their children in a way we'd like to have Zenchai learn about the world and life. We'll see how that goes.

So far, so good. 

 

World Travel: Is Anywhere Cheap Anymore?

THE question is: is there anywhere in the world that is really 'cheap' to live anymore? And, perhaps more importantly, would you want to live there if there is?

People often refer to Asia as very affordable and there are pockets of places where your money goes really far.

In southern India, for instance, we lived quite cheaply. Our hotel apartment (above) was roughly £5 per day and this was in an upscale resort. That's because in India you can bargain for almost everything.

But elsewhere we haven't found the costs to be equally inexpensive. And I think it's important, too, to make the distinction between travelling solo and as a family. If I were travelling by myself, living in hostels and eating out only for one and at McDonalds (which I wouldn't go near except to use the toilets) or the MSG-laden food hawkers, my daily costs would be reduced substantially. But multiply everything by four if you have a family like mine. You can't really stay in dorms when you have children. 

We are now in Kuala Lumpur, which, when compared to London, is relatively cheap, but not when pitted against other Asian cities we have been to (with the exception of Singapore).

We pay £34 a day for a one-bedroom serviced apartment with a makeshift kitchen. In the developed western world that is a great deal. But in Thailand (Chiang Mai) we were paying about £16 per night. You could find even cheaper deals in CM and if you were by yourself or a smaller family unit - a studio apartment rents for about £10 per night. 

Kuala Lumpur, at least, offers an excellent transport system. Almost each day I commute by train and bus for 90 minutes (each way) to attend my Crossfit class in Petaling Jaya. My transport costs are a mere £2!

We're not convinced either whether eating in saves money when you can, for instance, go to an Indian restaurant for masala dosai and feed the family well for £2.50. 

We don't really go to upscale restaurants. The most expensive it gets for us is when we search out organic restaurants, but even then, when compared to the UK, the prices are far from crazy. The most we've paid for a family meal in KL is £12. 

Back in the UK, we spent on average £113 per week on food when we stayed in Brecon (for Christmas) and £139 whilst in Huddersfield, where we ate in most of the time. Compare that with the average of £114 we spent per week mostly eating out in India. 

So keeping costs down really depends where you are. For us, eating in in England was only marginally more expensive than eating out in India, albeit in a fairly touristy part of India. 

In Thailand the street food is cheap, but (unfortunately) laced with MSG and sugar, so we ended up eating in better restaurants and for more. We ate out most of the time, but also bought lots of fruit and coconuts. You'd be surprised how the costs add up. On average we'd spend about £120 per week on food in Thailand. But Malaysia has been off the chart. 

Our shopping bill at supermarkets in KL can be hefty. As an alternative, I've tried local markets, like Pudu, where you can buy all sorts of vegetables (though the fruit selection is disappointing). I filled a shopping bag for about £8 (mostly veg) and a similar shop in England would have set me back at least £20. 

But supermarkets offer organic produce, which is important to us. Most of the fruits and vegetables in the outdoor markets in KL appear to have been imported from countries like China, where they spray crops heavily.

Although I can get a kilo of fresh lychee for £2 and buy T-shirts for £2, too, a cup of camomile tea at Starbucks in a good neighbourhood will set you back £1.50. On average we have spent over £150 per week in KL. 

Prices for the same product can vary also. For instance, fresh coconuts can go for anything from between 75p to £1.50. It's not outrageous, but more expensive than we paid in Thailand and Brazil (although coconuts in Thailand are far superior in taste).

A whole 1kg durian costs around £2 in KL, a 5.5litre water bottle just over £1 and taxis are good value (though be sure to flag down the red or yellow ones and not the blue taxis, which are exectutive. Tip: make sure the meter is running). 

The cost of going out in KL is hit and miss. Some attractions, like the KLCC play park, are free. Others, like Aquaria, cost me £16 for Zenchai and I. In London, at the Aquarium, it's nearly double and in Florida I found attractions for kids to be really pricey. 

We're heading back to Chiang Mai in Thailand next month, though, because renting an apartment there is cheaper and easier than in Kuala Lumpur. We tried really hard, but couldn't find a way to stay in KL affordably. 

As I wrote in a previous blog, renting in KL is made difficult - almost impossible - for those wishing to stay less than 12 months. 

We couldn't find any reasonable houses or condos, fully furnished and in a safe, clean area near a train station (otherwise you really need a car) for less than £400 per month. Realistically, we were looking at shelling out at least £500. But the majority of apartments go for £500 per month upwards and you can get two/three bedroom places for that amount. In nice areas most people are paying closer to £800-£1,000. 

In Thailand we might end up spending around £300-£400 for lodging, but we'd get even more for our money - greater space and perhaps the use of a pool and gym.

But the downside in Chiang Mai is that there is no metro system - getting around town you have to rely on taxis and rickshaws or hire a moped, which isn't what I want to do with young children (a moped would cost about £300 per month). The traffic is thick and the roads not all built for walking down. We spent about £70 on transport during the month we lived in Chiang Mai. Car rentals are about £400 per month. 

There are always the southern islands of Thailand to visit. But we hear from friends based there that costs are inflated also - mostly because of the rise of tourists willing to pay big bucks and the owners holding out until the off-season.

Of course, there are places to go that won't cost much - even for families, but there's a reason for that: either it's incredibly remote or there's something wrong with it, like ultra polluted or crime-infested. Not everyone wants to take their family to a place like that. 

It's interesting, really, because both Jamie and I have in recent weeks reflected more on our time last year in Brazil, which on the whole is a dearer place to live than in most of Asia. But we found in Piracanga, Bahia, an eco-village by the ocean where it was impossible to be sucked in by consumerism and our outgoings were generally low, that the quality of life (sunshine, beach, river, wholefood diet, living more off the land) was much higher. 

We're not saying we want to return to Brazil or, specifically Piracanga, but it's an example of how getting the balance right can be tough and it often depends on the family's needs and wants. We don't want to be somewhere too remote or basic or, for that matter, in the thick of a bustling city. 

We have been travelling now for over two years and, in terms of affordability and taking into account inflation, the cheapest countries we have visited look something like this (cheapest first): 1. Ecuador; 2. India; 3. Thailand; 4. Brazil; 5. Malaysia; 6. Croatia; 7. Argentina; 8. USA;  9. Uruguay; 10. Western Europe.

 

Kobra: One Year On...Her Amazing Birth Story Remembered

I FEEL like crying when I think about my daughter's first birthday. Already so much has happened in her little life. I can hardly believe a year has passed. Having Kobra in my life is one of the most magical gifts I have ever received. Even her arrival story is quite a spectacular one…

We were living in Piracanga, an eco village in Bahia, Brazil. The air was heavy with expectancy. There were three ladies heavily pregnant, two of whom were due any day, like me. The community was also preparing for an Avatar course. Many outsiders had come to participate and just as many community members were planning on attending. 

Adding to the weight of the already soupy environment was the slight discrepancy over who would be permitted to attend my birth. Allow me to digress to two months prior to Kobra's arrival for a moment to fill in some of the background details. 

While we were in Piracanga there was one senior midwife who served the community. I met her briefly, shortly after our arrival to Piracanga. It was during that one encounter with her that the seed of doubt was planted in me. Could I trust this woman to be present at my birth in the way I needed her to be? 

Then stories of other births that had taken place in Piracanga began to pour in - birth stories that I knew I didn't want for myself or my baby. I knew exactly what I needed in the persons attending my birth. Also, on a very deep level, I intuited  (I mean I literally felt with every parcel of my being) how this birth would unfold.

Unfortunately, I don't think it is very common knowledge that those who surround a birthing woman have an enormous impact on how she will birth. So to be absolutely sure that I would not be adversely affected during my process I had to know that my midwife would be fully on board with my wishes. 

There was also the minor detail of whether she would actually be in Piracanga. She was a highly experienced and sought-after midwife who travelled almost continuously. So would she really be there in the moment of need?

These weren't the thoughts I wanted swirling away in my head weeks before I was due to give birth. Faced with these impossible questions, I turned to one of my dearest friends in the UK, a natural birth and mothering advocate. She promptly posted me her book Birthkeepers. It couldn't have arrived at a better time. I devoured the book in 48 hours and felt ultra-confident with my birthing position - to go it alone without a midwife.

I am sure that must sound ludicrous, possibly irresponsible to some, but this is my story related to my body and baby. I knew my baby and body better than anyone. I also know what a woman's body is capable of given the right circumstances (I had this experience with Zenchai's birth, too).

I felt relieved that a decision had been made. I could just get on with the late days of pregnancy. Well, so I thought. 

Of course word spread, as it does in small communities, about my 'lawless' decision. This for very obvious reasons raised the hairs on many peoples' backs. I held my ground firmly. The bones in my body told me how my birth would be (these are the same bones that told me when I first met Claude we would make children together). I was not afraid.

I reluctantly agreed to meet with the midwife once more (interpreter on hand as her English was limited and my Portuguese abysmal). The encounter was rather peculiar. She got out her laptop and showed us pictures and videos of births she had attended. I guess she was trying to show us examples of her work. But most of the images I found unsettling. She was the prominent focus of every photo, gloved hands reaching in and taking babies from beneath their mothers, like a heroine. The video I could hardly watch. I was feeling even more strongly that she was not the right match for me.

Then she packed her computer away and got up to leave like we had signed the agreement she would attend the birth. It was an awkward moment, but I called her back. It was not the kind of birth I wanted (by the way, I think I should mention for those that don't know me very well, that I am not anti-midwife, but I had very strict criteria that needed to be met). 

After she sat back down, I did a little air-clearing. I expressed to her precisely what I wanted in a midwife. If she was willing to abide then we had a deal. But, again deep down, I wasn't sure I would need her. I knew this baby was going to come fast. Claude and I, often in semi-jest, talked about how there would be no time to get her when I went into labour and I would have my freebirth as I truly wished.

Once again with things ironed out, I relaxed into the idea of enjoying my last few weeks of carrying a baby in my womb, after all this could be the last time. Just as the dust nearly settled, I came down with two staph infections on my foot.

They started out as insect bites. I must have gone crazy scratching them, causing them to become infected. It all happened very quickly. I began properly cleaning the wounds as were the resident doctor's orders. But a week had gone by and they were getting worse, in particular the one above my ankle. It had turned into a gaping wound at least the size of an American quarter. 

I was adamant that I didn't want to take antibiotics, especially so late in my pregnancy. This is when a medicine lady appeared. I began undergoing treatments with her. But it was by far the most excruciating thing I have ever felt. Each day for sometimes hours she pulled away the diseased flesh from my skin with her bare fingers. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I would wonder why all this was happening and what my poor baby must be feeling.

Everything had gone very bleak. I was at my lowest point. Would this infection heal so I could focus on giving birth? 

I was laid-up almost continually, trying to recover and not feel the agonising pain of my wounds. Self-reproach was another common emotion. I desperately wanted to be playing and interacting with Zenchai before our lives changed forever, not some housebound invalid. 

I was now days away from my due date. Something had to give. After very careful consideration, I decided to use very small amounts of antibiotic cream on my wounds. I was still receiving daily cleanings from our resident doctor and my midwife. Both were pleased with the progress we had started to make by using the cream. The wounds were getting smaller and less painful. As a reward for progress made, I was allowed a swim in the river (I had been dying to swim in the beautiful waters, to float and be without gravity, something I hadn't enjoyed for at least three weeks). Zenchai and I zipped merrily down to the river at low tide, our favourite time, when the water was warm and red in colour. We played and splashed. I felt like a new woman.

Returning to the beginning of the story, the air in Piracanga was feeling hot, salty and pregnant with expectation. It was three days until the full moon. The midwife had predicted that one of us with buns in the oven would be ready to pop with magnetism of the full moon upon us. 

It was a normal day. I had been feeling emotional, so decided to take a nap in the hammock. The doctor came to check and clean my wounds as usual. He asked how I was and when I tried to explain I felt all fuzzy in my head. We both put it down to my body trying to fight the infection and the heat of the day. Later a friend came by to offer me a massage. Feeling blue, the timing was right. She lovingly rubbed my shoulders, head and back and ended it by giving me deeksha. After such a treat, I felt so much better.

That evening we were going to another friend's for a bonfire party. Before we went, Claude, Zenchai and I had a quick meal up on one of the top sun decks, enjoying a splendid sunset. At dusk we made our way to the fire. Everyone was there. It was buzzing (by Piracanga standards). I saw the midwife there. She was drinking a caiporienha (typical Brazialian alcoholic beverage). I whispered in a joking way that I hoped I wasn't the one going into labour that night! 

Popcorn was being served and as I took a handful of it I thought "I am not sure I want to eat this. I really love popcorn, but if I go into labour I will be sure to throw this up and go off it for quite sometime." I indulged anyway. It was only a small chance that I would go into labour that night, right?

It was getting late and we needed to get Zenchai to sleep, so we began our walk along the moonlit paths back to our house. We bumped into a couple of visitors who were lost and trying to find their way back to their lodgings. As we showed them the way, the woman asked when I was due. I casually replied "Oh, any time now."

We all crawled into bed and retired for the night. It didn't feel like I was in bed long when I woke-up with that all-too-familiar late pregnancy sensation that my bladder required urgent attention. As I trundled over Zenchai, I wasn't sure if I would make it to my bucket (strategically placed near our bed so I wouldn't have to climb my way down the stairs each night to wee amongst any potential creepy crawlies). 

Immediately after I got out of bed I knew things were happening. I got my sleepy head straight and woke Claude from his slumber. He needed to begin preparing my birthing space ASAP. I walked out to our balcony overlooking our garden glowing under the moon's light. I bent over the railing and had a very strong contraction. My rushes were coming thick and fast. I decided to reach down and feel my bits. The sensation was unreal. It was like I had found the baby eject button. If I didn't move my hand back to the railing then this baby was for sure going to shoot straight out of me right there and then. 

I mumbled to Claude that I was going to make my way to the bathroom. I wanted to evacuate before this baby really came. I made it to the landing just in time for another powerful surge. I caught my breath and made it to the bathroom. By this point I was very vocal. Later we were told most of the village could hear my primal sounds.

I sat on the toilet. Oh, the relief to be sat there. I was having a continuous flow of rushes. Claude very meekly tried to persuade me to come off the toilet as we had an agreement that under no circumstances was I to birth on the toilet again (Zenchai was born on the toilet and I believed I had torn in that labour due to the circulation not flowing properly). I am not sure if I answered him. But he promptly began bringing the birthing mats and paraphernalia from upstairs to the bathroom floor. 

Claude then gently aided me to the floor. I got on my knees and gripped the sink counter for dear life. This baby was coming and fast. My body was bearing down and at the same time the skies opened and began bearing down sheets of rain. I reached down once more to feel myself and there was the head. It felt like nothing I have ever touched. It was wet and squidgy. My thinking brain was long gone. I began to semi-panic. Calling out "what is this I am feeling?" I felt like I had been shouting for help for hours. I just couldn't connect the dots that it was my baby's head. 

I felt as if I was alone in the bathroom with only faint candle light even though Claude was actually right behind me. I peered out the door of the bathroom and saw a shadow. It was not Claude's. I knew we were alone in the house. I could feel my eyes getting small. I felt like a leopard protecting her den and began shouting "Who  is that? Who is here?" Claude appeared before me and told me that the midwife had gotten word that I was in labour and that she was there. (An apprentice midwife had been camping on the neighbour's land and heard my noises. She made a split-second decision to get the midwife to me in top speed.)

I relaxed and put away my claws. My focus was once more back to this baby emerging from me. Prior to labour I told Claude that I wanted to be the one to receive our baby, the first one to touch him/her, as he was the one who caught Zenchai. 

But this baby was on rocket fuel. I could not let go of the counter. I needed help and pretty damn quick! Claude motioned for the midwife to come in. And within seconds of her crouching below me our baby had entered the world. 

She handed our slippery baby to me. I leaned on my heels and held her close. I was in shock. Everything had happened so rapidly. It felt like an eternity before I properly looked to see if we had a girl or boy. Just as I had dreamed, we had had a healthy, plump girl.  I quickly asked the assistant midwife what the time was. She checked her watch. It was 11.30pm. I noted she was born on the 15th and not the 16th.

Within 10 minutes of her arrival my afterbirth came just as speedily. And as I looked down at my baby's placenta, I was half-surprised to find it wasn't another baby. Part of me had thought that maybe there were two in my womb. The midwife took a tiny piece of the placenta and offered it to me to eat. I refused (this had been another sticky topic with her as she was adamant that women should eat a bit of their placenta for all its healing powers).

I held my bundle firmly as our midwife and her assistant checked me over for tearing and despite not birthing on the toilet I still tore. She expertly stitched me by torchlight, then helped to shower me and got me ready to bed down with my new baby girl.

Claude and I had planned to lotus birth her (allowing the umbilical cord to fall away naturally instead of cutting it), but as I got into bed that night, for the second time I had visions of ants blanketing us to get to the placenta. We spoke with her about what was going to happen and then allowed the midwife to cut the cord.

The midwife and her assistant left. Claude and I looked at each other in astonishment. Had we really just had a baby? We had already decided that if we had a girl her name would be Kobra.

That night I slept with Kobra, listening to the continual rain falling. I remember waking up once and having to remind myself that I had a baby in bed with me.

The next morning Zenchai had the surprise of meeting his new sister. He had slept through the whole affair but was rather pleased to have a new sibling.

When the midwives returned we spoke about the night's events. Apparently, the assistant midwife's watch had broken and she had told us the wrong time of birth. Our clock had stopped working, too. So she asked around the village to find out if anyone noted the time they heard me stop making sounds and Kobra's first cry. They concluded that it was around 12.30am, so she indeed was born on the 16th not the 15th. But a huge part of me really thinks she was born on the 15th. I guess we'll never know for certain.

We then deduced that Kobra's birth was between 30-45 minutes from start to finish. She really was in a hurry to meet us.

This was also the time when the midwife offered me once again to eat a piece of placenta. She was very concerned for me, especially as I still had the two staph infections. She did not want it to get worse or spread to the baby. I reluctantly agreed to have some but only if it could be blended with some acai (berries) to hide the colour and taste. 

Claude was delighted to take up his place in the kitchen. He made me a placenta smoothie, which I drank without any hiccups. The coconut milk and acai totally drowned out any possible placenta taste. And, for the record, my staph infections went away almost immediately after I gave birth - no doubt due to Claude's culinary wizardry.

So in the end everything happened harmoniously. Kobra's birth was extraordinary on so many levels. And everything worked out superbly with the midwife. 

Today, I give special honour to my little rocket baby, Kobra Rain Abrams. Already at one you are a reservoir of bliss, joy and happiness. I love you with all of my heart. Happy Birthday baby!

 

 

World Travel: Nuts For Coconuts

WHAT I missed most when back in England recently - and since leaving the tropics - is access to fresh coconuts.

They now sell packaged coconut water in western cities, but it's not the same as cracking one open straight from the tree, drinking the water and scooping out the flesh.

The packaged water doesn't taste quite the same, despite claims it is 100 per cent coconut water.

But there can be no denying the high nutritional and medicinal value of the coconut, partially processed or otherwise.

Although coconuts here in India so far haven't been up to quite the same standard we had a plentiful access to in Brazil last year, on hot days - and it's around a constant 34 degrees this time of year in Kerala - it's the best thing to drink to rehydrate.

In Piracanga, Brazil, Zenchai and I often used to set off in the morning with a wheelbarrow and return about 30 minutes later with it loaded with delicious coconuts. I'd cut them down and he'd push the barrow. 

Browsing a newspaper just the other day made me realise how special this nut is. I came across an advert for coconuts, listing its many qualities.

Coconuts are natural, packed with vitamins and minerals, have more potassium than most sports energy drinks and contain natural sugars.

The most amazing endorsement for coconut water, though, is the fact that during the Pacific War (1941-45) coconut water was used regularly, taken directly from the nut for emergency plasma transfusions on wounded soldiers!

With a blender, you can mix the flesh and water to make coconut milk, which has less fat than animal milk and no cholesterol. Coconut milk is used widely here in southern India in cooking as well as drinks (smoothies etc).

We often used the flesh to make puddings - which is a great way to ensure children get a regular intake of quality food. 

The flesh can also be eaten raw. Generally, the older the coconut the thicker the pulp, but less tasty the water. Sometimes you can find coconuts with perfect tasting water and nice flesh, too.

Luckily, our children love both the flesh and water. And here in southern India it's also ridiculously cheap - just R20 (about 35 pence).

 

World Travel: Five Moments To Savour In 2011

  

  

BIRTH OF KOBRA  

 

I feel privileged to have been present – and actively so – when both my children were born. I caught Zenchai. But with Kobra it was slightly different.

 

Although Jamie gave birth to her in the toilet, as she did for Zenchai, she had been in labour mostly by herself for roughly 45 minutes – no more. It was pouring with rain outside the Brazilian beach home where we were living and pitched black.

 

Our midwife arrived in the nick of time and by chance, with Jamie on her knees and ready for Kobra’s arrival. It was a magical feeling and occasion.

 

 

 

  

 

 LIVING ON LIGHT FOR 21 DAYS

 

The idea of going without food for three weeks and both food and water for the first seven of them seemed ludicrous. But I had the most extraordinary time by myself - thinking, feeling, being and without hardly any stress in the most beautiful, natural surroundings in Serra Grande, Bahia, Brazil.

 

Although I lost a lot of weight and strength, I gained so much in terms of perspective, understanding, direction, strength of mind and peace.

 

 

VISITING THE AWESOME IGUAZU FALLS 

 

I’d been saying almost from the time we arrived in Argentina that I wanted to go to Iguazu. I’d seen the photos and felt it was too far to go to not see in person.

 

Because Jamie was becoming more heavily pregnant, I opted to go alone. I took a 16-hour bus ride there and was greeted upon my arrival with a thunderstorm which raged for hours.

 

I got soaked, but the rain soon passed and what I witnessed was absolutely immense. A speedboat journey into the falls was the undoubted highlight of the visit. The same day I headed back to Buenos Aires by bus – taking 18 hours – but it was worth it!

 

 

 

WATCHING ZENCHAI LEARN TO SWIM AND KAYAK BY HIMSELF 

 

Zenchai can be ambivalent towards water. Some days I couldn't get him out of the ocean or river and on others it was painful trying to encourage him to take a dip. He's an extremist after all.

 

In spite of this, we spent many hours together splashing around. It wasn't until late into our eight-month stay in Piracanga, Bahia that Zenchai took an interest in kayaking. Around the same time his swimming seemed to blossom.

 

I don't know if, overall, his confidence was soaring, but after I'd made several failed attempts to teach him to kayak, a few days later I saw him paddling up and down the river like a pro all by himself.

 

And then a matter of days later when Zenchai and I were down by the river alone, he'd made his way across without me. Inexplicably, he jumped in when the tide was rising and current strong.

 

I heard him shout for help, saying his feet couldn't touch the ground, but instead of going under, he was thrashing his arms, freestyle, and staying afloat. I didn't want to panic him by rushing, so walked towards him as quickly as I could. He continued swimming until I arrived. Proud moment.

 

SEEING AND HEARING MY CHILD SPEAK A FOREIGN LANGUAGE 

  

This is nothing new. Children learn to speak new languages all the time. But when I saw and heard it with my own eyes and ears it still felt wonderful.

 

Zenchai spent only three months in a Brazilian school, but he also mixed a lot with native-speaking children.

 

Everyone kept saying when we arrived that he'd be speaking Portuguese in no time, but I couldn't imagine it.

 

However, he transitioned amazingly well and by the time we left Brazil he was singing in Portuguese and using his new language when playing by himself.

Piracanga: What I'll Miss And What I Won't

10 Things Claude's Going To Miss

1. Outdoor Life

Regardless of the weather, getting out of the house each day was never a problem. Even if it rained, we often went out. There was fresh air, beach, river, forest, garden and most of the houses were built in a way that the air flowed through. Since returning to England, I've appreciated more just how fortunate we were to be able to experience the joys of being outdoors so much and with nature.

2. People

We made so many friends. People visit Piracanga from all over the world. It's an international community. We met so many visitors and residents who were alternative-minded, travelling like us and who took a similar approach to child-raising and education. The people were nearly always friendly and so many adults took out time to be with and nurture Zenchai. Also, I don't think I've been anywhere in the world where I've got to know so many people so quickly and easily.

3. Letting Children Roam Freely

Once you are back in a city, you understand and value how fantastic it was to have a child and feel comfortable allowing your child to come and go without us parents having to worry for his safety or whereabouts. Piracanga felt safe from that perspective. There were few cars and everyone seemed to know everyone. Often Zenchai would go for walks by himself and be gone for an hour or more. Frequently, he went to the houses of other children by himself. We were never concerned and nothing ever happened to him that gave us cause for worry.

4. Fresh Coconuts

They grew on the trees in our garden and were everywhere. There is a plantation next door and each week Alex, who works in the restaurant kitchen, sold and delivered them to your door. We would usually buy about 30 each week (at R30) and bolstered our supply with ripe coconuts from the garden. We drank the sweet juice and used the flesh for puddings, smoothies, soups, granola and just eating raw.

5. Beach And Ocean

Few days passed when we didn't visit one or both. The beach, especially at low tide, was brilliant for enabling children to let off steam and burn up some energy. We often had it entirely to ourselves. Whilst the waves were powerful, the water was usually warm. Zenchai would enjoy jumping waves.

6. Local Fruits & Vegetables

The choice wasn't exactly immense, but we will miss the size of the papayas, mangoes and avocados for certain. By British standards, it was all very affordable. The passion fruit was delicious and, when in season, Jack Fruit so delicious we would sometimes devour one in a single sitting. I shall miss other fruits like plantain, that are harder to get elsewhere, and vegetables such as mandioca.

7. Year-round Sunshine & Warmth

Only for maybe a few weeks of the nine months I was there did I need to where anything with long sleeves. Much of the time I had on just a pair of shorts and, at most, a t-shirt. In the summer it can get really hot, which makes sleeping uncomfortable, but I would take the heat and sun over cold and rain every time.

8. Clean Air & Limited Pollution

Piracanga had some cars and a tractor that was used by the workmen. But there was no traffic to speak of and, because of the forest, all the trees and being by the ocean where there was a constant breeze, the air was clean and fresh.

9. Living In Shorts & Bikinis

As an extention of No. 7, you don't have to pack much to visit here. The climate suits the minimalist. I had only two pairs of shorts and Jamie a couple of bikinis.

10. River

Zenchai preferred the river to the ocean. That's where he learned to swim and kayak - by himself. It's shallow at low tide and the perfect place for a child to begin swimming. Caution is needed when the tide rises and the current strengthens. We went to the river as a family all the time. When the water was warm it was like taking a bath.

 

10 Things Claude Won't Miss

1. Bicho De Pe

These little fleas, which are spread through the urine of animals, get into your feet (and sometimes hands), causing a slight stabbing pain and the only way to remove them is physically. Bichos are actually a type of flea - so they can jump, too. Kobra got one on her toe after only a few weeks of being born. We removed ours using a needle. I had about 10 in the nine months I was there. Zenchai had two and Jamie, somehow, avoided them all. Even though the first one I had taken out knocked me out - yes, I fainted - subsequently, I got good at removing them by myself and without fuss.

2. Poor Internet Signal

Having internet costs R50 per month or R5 per day. Where you live will have an affect on how strong your signal is, as will the weather. The internet signal is transmitted by radio. It's not fast. Some days we got nothing from our house and would have to go to the centre. On occasion the signal would be down everywhere. But in terms of using Skype and doing research online it was quite frustrating for us.

3. Driving On The Piracanga Road

This was a really bumpy journey, taking about one hour to Itacare going through deep puddles and large pot-holes. Zenchai threw up almost every time he made the trip. The road has recently been improved and the drive isn't as bad, but it remains a rally-type experience.

4. Humidity

Nearly all the clothes we took with us got ruined - they turned mouldy. The climate makes it difficult to keep clothing fresh, especially when it rains.

5. Mosquitos And Matukas

As much as you can get used to mosquitos, they can still drive you nuts at times. We certainly didn't react to bites as much at the end as we did when we first arrived. But outside of a mosquito net they would often swarm around you at night and, with a young baby, it wasn't fun. The bite of a matuka fly was more severe and matukas don't leave you alone. To clobber them, you have to let them land and sink their teeth in first!

6. Long Community Meetings

We got invited to many meetings during our stay, but soon found that most of them lasted two to three times longer than necessary.

7. 'Cold' Winter Nights

It did get chilly, relatively speaking. Some nights during the winter, with the homes open to the elements, we needed to wrap up under four or five blankets and snuggle together to stay warm.

8. Dusty, Sandy Houses When The Wind Blows Hard

It was hard keeping a house clean. Sand, dust and leaves would end up everywhere, especially on windy days.

9. Waiting For Laundry To Dry During The Wet Season

Sometimes the rain would last for days. With no washing machine, dryer etc, you have to either pray for the rain to stop or hang your clothes indoors. But even with the latter, it would take time for clothes to dry when the sun wasn't shining.

10. Insecurity

At first, we thought Piracanga was wonderful because there was no need to lock up your doors when you went out. Crime was almost unheard of. And then, as more houses were being constructed, workers came in from outside the village and the crime rate increased. We had a computer stolen during a burglary. Life never felt the same.

Piracanga: Living On Light (The Aftermath)

YOU´D think that having not eaten for 21 days the first thing on my mind when the ´Process´ was over would be food. But it wasn´t.

I left Serra Grande in the morning, after folding up the tent and sweaping clean the forest house, and Silvia kindly drove me to Itacare.

It wasn´t until around 12.30pm - and more out of necessity than hunger - that I had my first meal for three weeks.

I had ahead of me a 6 1/2km walk along the beach to Piracanga, carrying a rucksack which probably now weighed more than I did. Given how physically frail I´d felt during the ´Process´, I had some doubts about the wisdom of such a trek.

So I had lunch, sticking mostly to fruits and salads, and after I had given myself time to digest the food and for the tide to go down, I set off for Piracanga, not attempting to break any world records.

To my surprise, I completed the walk quite comfortably, aided by a tail wind, and found that the mental sturdiness I either had or acquired to complete the ´Process´ carried me without complaint to Piracanga in one piece.

In spite of my new greyhoundesque, super-lean physique, my energy and strength had returned. And when I finally reached Piracanga, with the wind howling into my back, I found the balsa to cross the river stranded. Yet I just threw the rucksack over my shoulder and, against a strong current, carried it across.

If physically I was back on track, mentally my head was sent into a tailspin when after arriving back at our rented house I discovered, to my shock and dismay, I had been burgled whilst away.

Worst of all, they had stolen Jamie´s Apple Mac laptop which contained ALL of our family photos that, through our own fault, we´d failed to back up. We had our spare camera taken, too.

Suddenly, having been in a calm, strong space, I was faced with a haunting predicament. ´Welcome to the real world', was the phrase which flashed through my mind.

For the rest of the night my mind, as you could imagine, was occupied in thought. But I did find that my experience in Serra Grande helped me more quickly reconcile my deep loss and any guilt I had for failing to make safe the computer.

And after a night of processing the reality of being robbed, I found in myself peace, acceptance and forgiveness. I realised there was no point in dwelling on what I could and should have done, because those thoughts lead only to self-destruction and wouldn´t bring back the computer.

I reported the incident to the Itacare police and the matter is under investigation with a suspect, a local worker, already identified.

I have no idea if I will ever see the laptop or photos again and I thought about what I wrote in my ´Week 3´ blog about how I could understand more clearly how éverything is perfect´. I tried to relate that to this incident. It was hard. But I accepted it had happened and that I can´t change the past.

I gave thought to our possessions and our desire to have valuable items and how while they bring us joy and happiness, there´s a price (not just in terms of money) to pay with worry over damage and theft. ´Do I want to own anything valuable again?´ I questioned.

It took me a while to regain my emotional composure as I returned to Piracanga life, especially to be back in a home where I had never stayed without my wife and kids.

There was an emptiness, not just in my heart but within the borders of the property. I could see remnants of Zenchai´s presence, but where was his voice, laughter and energy?

I had things to do. Staying present and finding stillness, which was simple in Serra Grande, proved a challenge. Being aware of the time even felt strange, as was getting used to eating again. The only clock that really mattered was my body clock.

My stomach didn´t react kindly to the first meal. I either made the wrong choice or consumed too much. The next day I felt as if I had eaten the hottest curry imaginable.

I tried to keep my portions to a need-only size, but even this required much self-discipline. With each day, though, things became easier. I could see, however, why I was advised to take my time getting back to ´normality´ after the ´Process´. Almost everything felt like an invasion on my senses following so long in virtual total serenity.

On my third day back I woke in the night (I still wasn´t sleeping well) with the idea to offer a reward for the laptop. It was worth a try. I had nothing to lose if it failed and I wanted to explore every option and know I had tried my best.

I sat in the kitchen the next day eating my dinner and noticed a message Zenchai had written on a piece of paper for me and hung over the dining table. It said ´TRUST´.

It bolstered my faith. I put out the intention to find the computer and the next day set off again for Itacare.

I had posters for a reward made and photocopied (100 for R20) and then spent the remainder of the day distributing them around town. After staying the night in Itacare (R25), I set off the next morning to Caubi. There were no buses until the evening, so I did my best to haggle a good price for a taxi (R40) and made my way there.

Caubi is a small, simple village with a bus stop, convenience store and not much else - and where the suspect lives. I handed out my posters to everyone I saw and then covered the 7km of wet sand and clay back to Piracanga, mostly barefoot.

The next morning, before anyone was awake, I placed my posters around the building site where the alleged suspect had worked, a stone´s throw from the house.

I decided to give it a week. Jamie booked my flight back to England. I remained positive rather than hopeful, even if the difference is only subtle, and waited.

In the meantime, I got on with living, cleaning the home we´d rented, gardening, doing some writing, playing beach volleyball and running again.

Within a week of the ´process´ending I felt physically back to normal in terms of strength and fitness, even though I was much leaner. Actually, I felt like I had boundless energy.

But controlling my eating felt difficult, as though my body was trying to make up for three weeks without food. Luckily for me, I remained active. But I noticed an interesting and important change - that while I was occasionally hard on myself for over-eating in the past, I just accepted it now for what it was.

Two weeks after the ´Process´ , I was more than ready to be reunited with Jamie and the children. I felt fresh, positive and alive.

Being away from my family for five weeks had certainly enabled me to fully appreciate them. Just as importantly, being by myself all that time had helped me to fully realise and accept myself.

And so I finally parted ways with the eco-village that had been my home for nine months, holding no regrets and only fond memories and lessons in life.

I stayed one night in Itacare and the next day took the five-hour bus (R35) to Bom Despacho, where I crossed the water (one hour) to Salvador by ferry. There I took my plane, via Frankfurt, to London´s Heathrow, ending the longest spell I had been away from ´home´.